Let the Christmas Magic Begin!!!!!

It is officially CHRISTMASTIME!!!!!!!

The turkey's been deep fried and the pies have been devoured.  (It didn't stop this girl from making pie dough and yeast rolls to awesome Christmas music.) The tree will soon be going up and presents will soon be wrapped.  I've even already checked out all of the wrapping paper at Target. Guess where this girl is going to be immediately after Christmas? Yeah buddy.

Anyway, I was pondering the movies that we watched every year in my family growing up and the ones I've personally added since then.  I decided to make a list for all of you!! So here is my personal list of top Christmas movies!


1-5.  The Christmas Carols

   Muppet Christmas Carol
        This is and always will be my very favorite Christmas movie and my very favorite Christmas Carol.  I love all of the different versions for various reasons, but this one is the best all around. Gonzo and Rizzo will narrate you through the Dicken's classic with style, flair, and jellybeans.  "Please, Sir, may I have some cheese?" will forever replace the correct line from Oliver Twist.

   A Christmas Carol (with Patrick Stewart)
       Of the live action, non-muppet versions, this one is my favorite specifically because of Patrick Stewart.  The end where he realizes he isn't dead and the spirits did it all in one night is the greatest because of his coughing/laughing fit. 

   Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol
       There are so many quotable lines and songs in this movie. And my family quotes them. Randomly. All year long.  "With razzleberry dressing" "I'm all alone in the world!"  In this version you are watching Mr. Magoo star in a Broadway production of A Christmas Carol and his half-blind antics drive the crew mad. 

   A Christmas Carol (with George C. Scott)
       This one is, in my opinion, the closest to the actual book storyline.  It's very well done and much more haunting than any of the animated, children's versions.  This particular version includes Christmas Present showing Scrooge the boy Ignorance and the girl Want.  "Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."

   Mickey's Christmas Carol
       Any old Mickey Mouse story was a good one and this one is no exception. With Scrooge McDuck as Ebenezer, Goofy as Marley, and Mickey as Bob Crachit, it's a family classic.  It's the movie of my childhood Christmases.

6. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (animated version)
       First of all, the live action version of this movie is an abomination and I spit on it's claims to be considered a movie that I am supposed to enjoy. Ptooey! Ptooey! Now, the original ANIMATED version with Boris Karloff is as classic as they come!

7, 8, 9. Santa Clause 1, 2, 3
       The first is the best of all three, but all of them are great. Funny, family friendly, and a great original twist of a storyline.  Plus, I see the guy who played Bernard everywhere now! And I'm sorry I'm not sorry he will always be Bernard.  Plus #2, I love Tim Allen. He makes a great Santa. Tim the Tool Man Santa.

10. The Holiday
       The Holiday was a movie I added to my holiday traditions in college.  When I went to Harding University, my roomie/cousin Jessica already had a tradition of drinking tea and watching The Holiday and Love Actually, and we did just that together. I loved it so much and it felt so much like Christmas I added the tradition to my own set.  I'm actually watching The Holiday with my cup of tea tonight. :) I'm very excited. 

11. Love Actually
       This particular movie I always forget is a little more risque than I ever think. And there are a few points in it I go "ah! I never remember this part of the movie!" and close my eyes.  But overall, I love the different storylines and how they intertwine. 

12. Holiday Inn
       My sister-in-law Renee introduced me to this older movie with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire.  It is so cute.  It is one of my very favorites. It's such a sweet love story, celebrating all of the holidays in the calendar year but beginning and ending with Christmas.  I love it. I love it! Go buy it and watch it today.

13. White Christmas
       I just watched this for the first time this year! (Thank you, netflix!) I don't know what took me so long. It's fabulous! Another Bing Crosby movie, it's all about two army buddies who made it in show business giving back to their beloved general and falling in love with some sweet sisters along the way. Hilarious, sweet, and it pulls at your heartstrings.  A perfect Christmas movie! Enjoy it with some hot chocolate. 



What are your favorite family Christmas movies?! I always love adding more movies to my Christmas repertoire.  

I Don't Want It Unless It's Deep Fried Or Covered In Cheese!

It has been ages since I posted anything! There is so much to catch you up on, which I shall do via phone pictures today! It will be an exciting adventure, I promise.

Okay, maybe not as exciting as it is building in your mind right now. Please lower your expectations a little bit and we'll continue.

No, a little bit more than that.

Okay, perfect!!!

First of all, it has been getting colder up here in North Carolina! And by colder I mean, the high will be in the 50's one day and then the next week and a half it will be in the mid 70s.  Only in the evenings is it cool enough for remotely any colder weather gear.  But the leaves are starting to change and I'm very excited!!!

Okay, now I need to back up and give some semblance of chronological order to this.

 Okay, so this really doesn't tie in to anything.  This is baby G, my charge.  He's one of the cutest babies on the planet.  He's also strange and hilarious.  He likes to chew on fingers. They're delicious!!! I have a theory that all humans start out cannibalistic and have to be taught that eating their friends and nannies and mommies and daddies is naughty.  As I type this, baby G is attempting to eat my arm.  Exhibit A, people. 

Then again, just to play Devil's Advocate to myself, there is the whole babies-are-so-cute-we-just-want-to-eat-them thing... So one could argue that we teach the babies cannibalism and then have to teach them that cannibalism is bad. Poor things must start life off so confused. 

What do you mean I can't eat your fingers? You eat my toes all the time!

 

 Speaking of toes, in September, I got my first ever pedicure! It was wonderful! The rubbing my feet part was the BEST part and the cute toes were really just icing.  Poor Aubrey almost had her toes burnt off because her lady didn't shake out the steamed towel first.

In late September, my sweet, precious, gentle, hilarious Grandfather passed.  I didn't write about it then because I really didn't know what to say.  His memorial was in early October, and was completely unconventional.  We got to celebrate his long, very interesting, sweet life and visit with family we haven't seen in ages.   All of the men wore his bow ties in honor of Grandfather.  We sang Pal-Yat-Chee (by Spike Jones and Homer and Jethro. Look it up) at the memorial and pretty much alarmed everyone outside of the family. But that's okay.  My Grandfather loved silly songs. He loved mowing the grass in his cut off shorts and trying to cook us all by turning the thermostat way up because he was always cold. He loved his Ham radio, didn't get his masters in Engineering because he just didn't want to write the thesis, and was one of the foremost experts on microwaves (not the appliance) and worked on space shuttles.  He wore bow ties as his symbol of rebellion because Southern Bell required all engineers to wear a suit and tie to work (back before air conditioning) so he wore a bow tie as the least he could do and comply. He was very sweet and quiet and crazy just like the rest of us. We love him deeply and miss him deeply, but rejoice with him that his suffering is over and he is with the Lord.  And we can't wait to join him there some day. 

Grandmother, Grandfather, little me, Aubrey, Randall

Grandfather in his WWII uniform on Veteran's Day

Our family all together with our tongues hanging out (typical!) Grandfather had his out, but the flash took too long.

This is what baby G looks like when he wakes up from a good nap. All craaaaazzy eyed. It's really cute. He does weird things like grab your face and give "kisses" but they're rather violent and more like he's trying to eat your face. (Refer to above comments on cannibalism)

Also, he found out the best and tastiest and most fun part of his playmat is the Warning tag!!! Yay for kids caring about the actual toy part!!! Wait, that never happens.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming - When we arrived in Orlando, we had to run by a Walmart off of Semoran.  Since you can't find UCF stuff anywhere outside of Orlando, I wanted to see what they had.  Well... They only had Gator Gear.  A big ol section of Gator stuff. None of it very attractive, mind you.  I asked if they had any UCF things and where they might be hiding and they didn't even carry a bit!!! Not a thing!! So the truth of the matter is that you can't find UCF stuff anywhere outside of a 10 mile radius of the school.  Lame.

We ran over to Downtown Disney one day to get some specific things and I saw these shirts again. I love them so much.  In fact, if anyone wants any ideas as to a Christmas present they could get for Jason and myself, these shirts would be precious.  Small Minnie for me and Large Mickey for him.  Just, you know, in case you were wondering.  They can be found on the Disney store website as well... No pressure guys. :) I just totally want these.

This is the one picture I have of our trip to Charleston, SC for his big joint BYX formal.  It was crazy fun and we danced like maniacs.  This is us at the battery. All other pictures are on other people's cameras.

Sweet Sister's birthday was last week and I got her CASTLE PANIC and wrapped it up nice and neat!!  I love wrapping presents. It's literally my Christmas job.  I wrap and bow all of the family presents like the one above every year. Would you like to hire me to wrap yours? I'm thinking of starting a business. :)


We also had cheesecake for her birthday (I made it!) and celebrated with some of her friends at a tasty steak place in Zebulon.  It made my mouth water. I love her so much and am thankful for the 22 years she's been a part of my life (that's how old I am... she's my older sister).  She's grown to become one of my best friends and I can't imagine my life without her.

Last night we all went to the Fair! It was my first real (big) fair since the Mullet Festival really doesn't count that much.  (yes, it's a thing)  We basically went for dinner. It was crazy delicious.  I wanted to eat everything! I had part of a giant garlic/butter pretzel (shout out to Der Pretzel Haus from St. Augustine for being so delicious and reasonably priced!), part of a corn dog, a philly cheese steak, muscadine grape cider slushie (crazy delicious), and fried oreos (heaven!!). Sadly I had to make choices, and while they were superb, there are things I missed out on that I also wanted to eat, such as a sausage and a funnel cake, and nearly everything else I saw.  I saw a giant plush Minion (from Despicable Me) that I really wanted to win for Jason, but fair games are really expensive. Sorry, sweetie. :(

Baby G was the highlight of the Fair for many people. They would literally stop in front of Sister to talk to Baby G, comment on his monster socks, and say how beautiful he was. He got lots of stickers.  He made a police officer's day because he couldn't get over the monster socks. He kept laughing for a good 5 minutes.  It was pretty hilarious. 




Wow! Congrats to you if you made it though this long, crazy post!! It's been a busy busy October so far and it's hard to believe it's already halfway over. Can October just loop around twice before we get to November? I love this season! I love the holidays! It's the most wonderful, beautiful, fun, exciting, wonderful time of the year!!!!

The Fifth Birthday We've Celebrated Together

Yesterday was my darling Jason's 22nd birthday.  Being the impeccably perfect girlfriend I am, I still have not sent him his present.  So I decided to honor his birthday by wearing a Gator shirt on UCF game day (ah, who am I kidding. I don't even know if they played, who they played, or who won.) and sending him periodical texts explaining 22 reasons I love him.  Today, I will share those with the 5 people who read my blog. (Thanks, guys!)

1.  I love him because even when I freak out on him he still loves me and lets me ask for forgiveness.
2.  I love when he butt texts me from work because it means I was the last person he spoke to and I love talking to him.
3.  I love his voice.  I love how he always knows what to say when I'm upset and when he doesn't need to say anything at all.
4.  I love him because of the man he is becoming. A man worthy of my trust and respect. I love that I can be proud of the man he is now.
5.  I love him because of the way other people admire him and feel inclined to follow him.  He is a natural leader, and I love that.
6.  I love his big, strong muscles.
7.  I love that he loves music and singing and singing with me.
8.  I love him because he is such an amazing chef. I love that he knows his way around the kitchen and likes to share that with me.
9.  I love him because he's hilarious. He is so funny and clever and I love his sense of humor.
10.  I love him because he is a tender warrior.  He is so sweet and gentle with me, but he can be fierce and strong and rugged.
11.  I love that he is a REAL bear! (inside joke)
12.  I love our almost 5 year long game of Who Can Find the Big Dipper First?
13.  I love that I have only grown to love him more as our relationship has progressed.
14.  I love him because he loves me dearly and loves my family as his own. 
15.  I love that he has fun and silly inside jokes with me.
16.  I love that he is my very best friend.
17.  I love how he smells (when he isn't sweaty and icky).
18.  I love him because he makes me want to be the best I can be for him.
19.  I love watching him come into his own, defining himself as a man in his own right.
20.  I love that he is a Disney freak just like me. :)
21.  I love he loved Oliver as his own and that we were a little family unit together.
22.  I love him because he's adventurous and always ready to try new things and he pushes me to try them with him. I love his wild spirit, even when I try to contain it.

And a bonus for not posting this on his birthday and not sending his present on time (Have I mentioned I'm the perfect girlfriend?):  I love getting to watch his faith develop. I love watching what God is doing in his life.  I love watching him learn from his brothers and I love that he gets the opportunity to turn around and influence the lives of his pledges. 

I love you, Jason. Happy (belated) 22nd Birthday.

'11 - Phi Lamb Spring Formal

'11 - Epic Disney trip

'08 - Teamwork putting up drywall.

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Nanny's life for me

So I have been in North Carolina for a little over a month now, and I've been actively nannying for a little over 3 weeks.  I have a few observations, a few pros and cons, if you will.

Pro:  Baby G is one of the gosh darn cutest babies on this whole entire planet.  That makes him a whole lot easier to deal with when he's being a toad baby. Or punching me in the throat. (This will be addressed below)

Con: Barf. I'm pretty sure every shirt I've ever worn and come into contact with Baby G has barf on it. Babies barf all the time. And they smell like sour milk. If you haven't had the fortune to experience sour milk barf smell, let me tell you that it isn't one of the more appetizing smells on the planet. It's pretty much revolting.

Pro: Freaking cute pajamas. What is it about baby footy pajamas with little tiny feet waving around in them? What is it about cute babies that makes you want to eat them? That is the real question of the day. Those of you who have babies or have taken care of babies know what I mean. Those tiny little cute toes? They are made to be nommed.

Con: Getting elbowed in the throat by a thrashing baby. Nothing makes me more aggravated than getting sucker punched in the throat. Really, Baby G? You just earned yourself a time out in the swing so Auntie Lauren can check if her vocal cords still work. And her esophagus.

Pro: Clean baby smell. When Baby G gets out of the bath, he smells so delicious! And every now and then, if the moon is aligned with Venus and someone breathed something sweet on the baby's head, he smells like Cocoa Puffs. Ah, heavens, there is nothing better than a baby Cocoa Puff head.

Con: Poop. I don't mean to offend your delicate sensibilities with talk of poop, but let's just say that diapers can be messy and you better be quick to notice that the diaper is full, or else you'll be washing poop out of the baby's pants, onesie, hair, your clothes, and anything else the baby managed to come into contact with when Poop-ageddon stuck.  The Poop-ocalypse.  The Poop-splosion. It's bad, guys.

Pro: Smiles and laughs.  Sleep smiles, specifically, are the absolute sweetest. They make you forget that you just managed to get a tasmanian devil to sleep, and if anyone wakes that baby they're dead to you. And that rare, but fantastic belly laugh is to die for! I challenge you not to burst out laughing at the baby who thinks you're so hilarious they can't help but laugh from their soul.

Con: Waking up in the middle of the night. There is nothing more difficult than convincing yourself to get out of bed in the middle of a REM cycle.   However, there is no better and more effective alarm clock than a baby. 

Pro: Post-nap soggy baby. One of the sweetest things is a post-nap baby, when he's gotten a full nap in. Then he's happy and soggy and he just wants to lay on your shoulder or press his face against yours and he's just as sweet as can be. 

So there are pros and cons to being a nanny, and this isn't by any means a comprehensive list, but throat punching, barf, and poop aside, It's a pretty great gig.

The Time Has Come.

It's time to come clean. It's time to be transparent.

I, Lauren, have a bully. I've barely been here for a month and already I'm being targeted relentlessly.  I rarely leave the house due to the nature of my job, but it doesn't matter. My bully attacks me in my own home. 

But it's time to come clean. It's time to expose this bully for the menace it is.

My bully.... is North Carolina.

See, at first I thought we could be friends. It is really very pretty. I complimented it. I appreciated it's rustic, natural beauty. However it was to no avail. North Carolina had it out for me from the moment I got here.  My very first day here it decided to put on a show of sheer force in an attempt at intimidation. This took the form of a severe thunderstorm that was essentially right above the house and it knocked out power for a while (including the TV! Horror!) It didn't work, though. I saw right through the ploy. I stood my ground.

North Carolina has tried similar tricks since.  One in particular was quite impressive. In the middle of a storm, the sky grew bright orange. I'd never seen such a sky. It threw an orange cast on absolutely everything. the air looked thick with it.  Apparently, for those in the know, a bright orange sky means threat of hail. That was my first death threat from North Carolina. It was ready and willing to pummel me to the ground with hail.

It's latest tactics have been more insidious. More ingenious. More fatal.... I don't know what I've done to make North Carolina rage against me so, but it's decided that I must be expelled, excised, gotten rid of once and for all.

Lately it's been attacking inside the house. Via my allergies.

I've been faithfully taking my Zyrtec, don't get me wrong. I know I have allergies and do everything I can to make life easier for myself. But by golly North Carolina is a relentless foe. There is just wave after wave of attacks upon my sinuses.  I can't even count how many tissues I've gone through. How many sneezes I've sneezed. And the tissues! Oh the tissues! I know I mentioned them twice, but they haunt me. Always needed, and rarely within reach. North Carolina has found my weakness. But, like you are supposed to do with bullies, I will stand firm against the onslaught.  I will not allow myself to be forcibly removed from this state and my job.

So, BRING IT, North Carolina! You don't scare me.

The Sturdy Kind That Doesn't Mind the Snow!!!!

So for those of you who know me, you know I ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY ADORE CHRISTMAS. Well, since Pinterest is a magical wonderland of all things awesome and frightening, I am having Christmas-in-August Syndrome. The Holidays and Events category is my favorite place to hang out and one of my favorite boards to review and see all of my wonderful pin ideas that I will probably never utilize and/or make but tell myself that I will. (Frightening due to the large numbers of spider related Hallowing things, and creepy fake dead things) Ahh Pinterest. How do I love thee, let me pin the ways....

Anyway, back to Christmas-in-August.  Do you wonder if you have contracted this particular affliction? If so, darling, I am here to help.  Please note if you are experiencing any of the following symptoms, particularly in the month of August:

• You sing your favorite Christmas songs to the baby for whom you nanny to instill in him the Christmas Spirit.  (Oh, is that just me?)
• You methodically go through your iTunes Christmas playlist perfecting the mix of Christmas songs to highlight the cheer and wonder and awesomeness of Christmas. (Note: It's a Spike Jones Christmas, John Denver and the Muppets' A Christmas Together, Martina McBride's White Christmas, and Celene Dion's These are the Special Times are the Christmas soundtracks of my life)
• You make a mental list of all of your favorite Christmas movies and have to stop yourself from watching all of them all the time. (6 different versions of A Christmas Carol? Thank you, Mom for that passion)
• You pin multiple Christmas-themed wreaths. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY WREATHS?! But really, I'm going to put a wreath on every door. 
• You plan out Christmas traditions for when you someday one day have a family and can make your own traditions. 
• You have dreams about being in Christmas programs. (True story. Except the song we sang was called "Forever" and it was about Japanese business transactions. Whaaaaat????) 
• You daydream of snow and snuggling into blankets and sweaters and drinking hot cocoa and cider.
• You do an Amazon search for Uggs, which you have been ardently against your entire life.  
• You can't even possibly wait to start wrapping and bowing presents. 

What is that? What is that you say? You don't have any of those symptoms? You don't suffer from Christmas-in-August like I do?  Well you obviously don't honor Christmas in your heart and try to keep it all the year. (Name that book/movie)  You might have Grinch-itis. I would prescribe 1 cup of hot cocoa with at least 8 mini marshmellows and 2 mugs of apple cider (with Aspen Mulling Spices, of course. Trust me on this one. It'll be the best cider you've ever had in your life).

Merry Christmas-in-August to all, and to all a good night!!!

An Expose on Gainesville

After living in Gainesville for just almost a year now, I have been able to observe the culture and the people from an outsider's point of view, giving what may be a much needed perspective to the oddities and eccentricities of the city.  So without further ado, and in no particular order, here are:

The Top Ten Things I Learned While Living in Gainesville:

1.  If you are an FSU fan, you take your life into your hands by making it known.
2.  The whole city pulses to the heartbeat of the University. Businesses close for UF's Homecoming game. (It happened at my job and we got a paid holiday for it!)
3.  It is an unwritten rule that everyone is expected to wear orange and blue the Friday before a game, regardless of student status.
4.  It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to wear an entire outfit composed of orange and blue, regardless of the presence of a university logo. Also, if you want to blend into the crowd and not stand out, just wear orange and blue. You'll look like everyone else.
5.  It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to paint your business orange and blue
6.  If you have to go anywhere on game day, just don't. You won't make it.
7.  The coolest and most worthwhile experiences in Gainesville are often free - The Free Friday music series in the summer, the various Farmer's Markets, The Natural History Museum, Gator Nights, etc.
8.  The best pizza ever is at Satchel's where you can sit in a VW bus and eat fantastic pizza - and everyone in Gainesville knows it.
9.  Everyone has a warped sense of time and distance if they have lived here over a year. Anything beyond a 5-10 minute drive from the house is "too far." 
10.  No one moves to Gainesville if they aren't somehow in some way affiliated with the University.  Gator born and bred, employed, student, dating a student, etc.  Gainesville has very little to offer those who care nothing about the University. 

Bonus: If you mention your complete apathy regarding the school or absolutely any of the sports it prides itself in, you will be considered a strange and dangerous person who should be regarded with extreme caution. You are obviously a spy sent to gather secrets.

Bonus 2: There are extremely subtle differences between UF's orange and blue and Auburn's orange and blue. Everyone will tell you they are completely different, but they aren't. They're pretty much the same. I just needed to speak the truth into your life. I may now be pummelled in the street after I post this, so pray for my safety.

Bonus 3: Gainesville is a literal swamp. Call it irony, call it poor city planning. Literal swamp, and it feels like it in the summer. You can swim to your destination.


In short, living in a college town both creeped me out and intrigued me. The pride runs so deep! The support is so strong! The expectations are so high! The orange and blue so abundant! (Also, no one ever EVER says blue and orange. No idea why. Always orange and blue, IN THAT ORDER) I liked it and I hated it. I'll be glad I'm gone and I'll miss it.  But I don't think I'll be settling down in a college town anytime soon. :)

Taaake Ooon Meeee (Take on me!) Taaaake Meee Oooonn!!

Name that 80s song. (Come on, its really easy)

It's been a good while since this happened, but I just got around to feeling like posting. Cause I had lots of important things to do. Like cook dinner and watch movies and sleep. And Pin things.

I'm lazy.

ANYWAY, a couple weeks ago, Jason and I went on a double date with some charming friends who just got together. (we approve of this pairing!) We decided to be adventurous and go rock climbing!!! Wooo!!!!

Confession: I was pretty terrified before we actually got there. And then I was just scared. And then I started climbing and I got terrified again. But that's a story for a little bit later.

We had to wait for our belay class, so we started out with some Bouldering.  This is essentially rock climbing for which you don't need a harness or belaying device, or even partner.  All of the walls are pretty short and (in my completely uneducated in rock climbing things opinion) seems to require more skill and strength to maneuver than the walls do.  There is a tunnel where you are expected to be able to climb to the top upside down. UPSIDE DOWN! Here's Jason, to demonstrate:

Look, Ma! No Harness!

 And here's me, to demonstrate that I can at least get upside down even if I can't do anything else from there:

"Quick, quick, I'm slipping! I'll never manage this again!"

Finally, it was time to take our class. The four of us were in a class with three other couples (It was a 2 for one deal with the entrance fee, and also you have to have two people to do any sort of belaying). I don't mean to brag, but we definitely were super awesome and caught on incredibly quickly. For example, the guys ended up actually learning how to set up the belay device first while we girls scampered up a practice wall so they could figure out how it works. Afterwards, we switched and the teacher had us see what we could do on our own from having watched the guys. When we did it perfectly, she was very surprised and impressed. We're just naturals. No big deal. After we learned how to safely climb a wall, we were released into the wild rock jungle to climb to our hearts' content.

Jason is a pro. He had never been rock climbing before but his strength and agility made it very easy for him to scamper up walls. If there had been a button at the top, he would have smacked it every time.

I, however, more accurately represent the amateur class. The beginner class, really. I very consistently got about 3/4th up the wall and decided enough was enough, thankyouverymuch, and I would like to come down now. (When you're ready to come down, you yell "Take!" down to your belay-er and when he is ready for you to let go he will say "Take On!")

It wasn't so much that I was afraid of how high I was, but more of a combination of two factors:
1) The higher up you go, the sparser the foot/hand holds, which makes it a little more challenging to get to the top.  (Or so it seemed to me?)
2) After I got to my internal ceiling, I would have a sudden fear of slipping and falling to the ground. This is silly because Jason is a big, strong man and more than capable of making sure my rope is taut and locked so that I don't fall at all if I let go of the wall. But it was a mental thing that I found very hard to get past, because I can't FEEL him supporting me, I just KNOW he is.Hard to wrap one's brain around. Also, my hands would get shaky with adrenaline.

But I still had fun! I just had a ceiling to my fun. It contained my fun and made it even funner. Ha. So take that, Jason. My fun was more fun than your fun.

These are the kiddos whom we accompanied:

Hi! You're famous now! Just kidding, only my family reads this anyway.

All in all, we had a blast, got in a great workout, and generally sweated like pigs (wait, you guys didn't? oh..) and got smoothies afterwards. Pretty great double date if you ask me.

Look how tiny our feet look! These are magic shoes.

My whole body hurt for about a week afterwards.

That Awkward Moment When...

You answer the phone at work and the rather annoying guy who says your name 18 times in a 2 minute conversation (just in case you forgot who he was talking to) says "Hey Lauren, you almost went a full day without me calling and buggin you!"

WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU SAY TO THAT?

"uh.... yup?"
"hrmm... you caught me?"
*awkward laughter*
"please never call here again"

I opted for the awkward laughter... because I honestly didn't know what else would be a remotely appropriate response. 

He then proceeded to personally address each following sentence to me. "So Lauren, is so and so in? Okay Lauren, well when will he be back? Now, Lauren, will you take a message? Never mind, Lauren, I'll call back later"

Please, please, for the sake of receptionists everywhere, don't remind someone of their name 18 times in a 2 minute conversation. It isn't necessary. It isn't nice. It makes receptionists want to pull their hair out. It's actually really condescending. And while you're at it, for the sake of everybody anywhere, don't ever make a comment along the lines of "too bad I'm here bugging you again" because it just puts everyone in an awkward position and makes them dread your calls even more.

Don't make people dread your calls.

Sister, I don't have to be a Nanny-Receptionist do I? I don't know if I'm cut out for it anymore.

It's beginning to look a lot like pizza... Everywhere we go...

Well tonight marks the end of Jason's and my week without starch!!! We made it successfully with neither of us fainting and falling to the floor from lack of pasta.  We have, however, talked a LOT about pizza and bread and things we wish we could eat. There were times we were tempted, there were times we were tried, but we stuck to our guns and came out victors in the end!!!

We tried a bunch of new recipes this week and some definitely will become staples while others ended up a little... well... meh. In case you are interested, our two favorites were Sweet and Spicy Salmon and Creole Shrimp and Sausage Stew.  They were DELICIOUS and made us want to eat 18 pounds of it.

We had a lot of green beans, squash, zucchini, and sweet potato fries this week, too, because one of our goals was to eat more veggies. One of us did moreso than the other. (I'll let you guess who ate more veggies. Hint: me)

We even had a date night on Friday and went out to eat at Panera while successfully adhering to our dietary rules! It was really nice because we both tried something new, which we NEVER do at Panera.  I got the Fuji apple and turkey salad with broccoli-cheese soup and Jason got the BBQ chopped salad with broccoli-cheese soup (the ONLY way he will eat broccoli ever. And he still gives me his large broccoli chunks).  They were really delicious! They did come with a baguette, which we forgot to tell them we didn't need, so we just had to stare at the bread while we ate our soup with nothing to dunk in it.  It was difficult. We almost faltered, but we didn't eat the bread!

All in all, I'm pretty proud of us this week.  It's been a real eye-opener to realize how much I eat starch on a daily basis and I've even lost a few pounds this week. I won't tell you how much, though, because I'm afraid they might come back. The Beetlejuice Effect and all... (I first tried to write Betelgeuse, but then realized thats the star, not the movie. I guess I'm just too darn sophisticated for such base movie choices)

In other astronomy news: If you are a human in North America, you too can view the Transit of Venus across the sun on (this!) Tuesday the 5th! It should happen around sunset, but I haven't figured out an approximate time yet.  If you do, make sure you use some kind of eclipse glasses or pinhole configuration so you do not stare directly at the sun. Apparently this will only happen once in our lifetimes? Jason discovered it in an astronomy book yesterday at Barnes n Noble, and a google search confirmed it! Go forth and view Venus crossing the sun!!

This is why I love my family

Today my Sister and I were texting about my upcoming birthday. Our conversation then turned in a fashion typical to my wonderful family. My strange, hilarious, sweet, kooky, wonderful family.

Me: "18 more days til my birthday!!!!!!!!"

Sister: "Nooo it can't be!"

Me: "I'll be 22! I dont know how I feel about this. I'll just stay 21 please. Kthanks"

Sister: "What's wrong with 22?"

Me: "It means I'll turn 23 and then 24 and the madness will continue until I'm 60! I'm not ready to be 60!"

Sister: "Heck, I'm not ready to be 30. I'm there and I'm still not ready! That means I'm halfway to 60!!"

Me: "Ahh!!!

Sister: "Whatever you do, no not order a DQ ice cream cake"

[Side Note: I have had tragic experiences with Dairy Queen ice cream cakes in the past few years. On multiple occasions they've comepletely messed up the decoration/name/writing and scraped it off to haphazardly re-write/draw it. Once there was no fudgy chocolate layer (the best part! I mean, come on!). Once it was all vanilla ice cream instead of half vanilla and half chocolate. And once they screwed up the design so badly my Sister had to re-do it. And she did a fabulous job piping UCF's Pegasus]

Me: "I feel like I need to, though, just to keep the tradition of horribly messed up cakes alive."

Sister: "No... Because if it actually turns out right... Well, then you'll be filled with false hope and a desperate longing to do it again. So you'll test fate. You'll order a Labor Day cake. And that one might be right. Then you'll order a Thanksgiving cake and a St. Patty's Day cake and an Arbor Day cake. This will continue until your 60th birthday bash where the cake will be a wreck of epic proportions, rendering that birthday and every previous birthday a lie. You will go mad with grief and start carrying around large quantities of spoons who you will "talk" through as you warn perfect strangers of the dastardly deeds of the vicious DQ."

Me: "Bahahahahaha you are completely right. I can't tempt fate that way. What a miserable 60th birthday that would be! I'm declaring it now - when I turn 60, no one is allowed to get me any form of ice cream cake!"

Sister: "I'll make you an 'Older Than' dirt cake"

[Side Note Again: dirt cake is something Mom would make for ours and other peoples birthdays sometimes when we didn't feel like cake (which was most years. we had lots of alternative cakes) and it involved pudding and ground up oreos and probably other tasty things in a big flower pot with gummy worms on top and through it and plastic flowers sticking in it. Delicious and grody! Perfect for kids.]



Don't you wish your family were more like mine? You should. You don't know what you're missing.

And don't get me a DQ ice cream cake. My future sanity depends on it.

Things I ponder...

Why is a baby cow a calf AND the lower, back portion of my leg is called a calf? What is the connection between the two? Which came first? The calf or the calf? Were baby cow calves named after my leg calves, or were my leg calves inexplicably named after baby cow calves? And while we're on the subject, why is the plural of calf calves? And why does it start to look like an alien word or a foreign language after you've written it or seen it too many times?

Tartlet.

There are the things I ponder when I read Pioneer Woman and misread when she's talking about the baby cow calves that they're working and instead think she's talking about her husbands calves. Hey, don't look at me, she's talked about forearms before. It's entirely plausible.

And it's all her fault.

Pioneer Woman strikes again!

Seven Starchless Sunsets

Hello. My name is Lauren and I love bread. Rice. Pasta. Potatoes. And did I mention bread?

Jason and I are going for one full week without any bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, or anything else we deem to starchy.  I don't think I'm going to dramatically lose weight or miraculously cure my ailments (this is only a week, after all) but its enough to give my poor body a break for a bit and teach myself to eat more veggies. I don't really remember what prompted me to do it, but last week I decided that, by golly, I was going to go an entire week without bread/starch.  I told Jason of this fact and he said "okay, I'll do it too" and I said "really?" because I had expected him to say "okay, you have fun with that sweetie. I'll eat your pizza and garlic bread for you."  He likes to surprise me sometimes.

Anyway, we started yesterday (because of my traveling and going home and needing to compulsively eat as much nostalgia-inducing lasagne as possible) and it was really hard. I didn't give myself much of a chance after coming back to plan out a meal, so I had to scrape together a lunch for Tuesday with whatever I had already prepared. That ended up being.... wait for it.....

1) A can of green beans
2) A colby-jack cheese stick
3) Honey-drizzled walnuts (Heaven fell out of the sky. I could eat these all day long)

Lets just say lunch left a lot to be desired yesterday. Like more food.  Dinner, however, was tasty. We made teriyaki salmon and sauteed green beans and zucchini. The green beans were good... but I still prefer them not crunchy. I didn't grow up eating crunchy green beans and crunchy green beans give my mouth the memory of things like undercooked pasta. But for undercooked-pasta-green-beans, they were pretty delicious. Zucchini was amazing. Sauteed zucchini always is. It rarely disappoints, that wonderful veggie.

Anywhoozle, today has gone a lot smoother. I planned out breakfast and lunch and we're going to have pork chops with apples and onions and sweet potato fries for dinner. Very excited. (And we decided sweet potatoes were acceptable since they are much healthier than white potatoes and exceedingly delicious.)

One thing that has hit us both already is the sheer amount of bread/starch we consume.  I can look through my fridge and cupboard and see bagels, sandwich bread, hot dog buns, rice, pasta galore, pizza. Mountains of bread!! And while I don't ever plan on cutting bread out of my life, I think already, my eyes have been opened enough to cut way back on it.  I do not need a bagel for breakfast, dirty rice for lunch, spaghetti for dinner with garlic bread on the side. No matter how good it sounds to my cramping tummy. (tmi? sorry.) And, I'm sad to say, I've had days just like that.

So my goal this week is to conquer the power of the Starch Side and use it for good. Wish me luck in battle. 

Donuts for Breakfast, Cinnamon Rolls for Lunch!

I very much love where I work.

I (up til today) have been the only girl working in an office of four men and two occasional male interns. They are some of the sweetest men on the planet. I know they would do anything for me in a heartbeat.  They are also silly, strange men sometimes and I've grown accustomed to their manly strangeness.

The atmosphere of my job is best illustrated by the way Bubba (boss man) introduced our new Girl Intern (our only one!) to the office. He took her around to each cubicle and introduced her to everybody in turn, and then as soon as he introduced her to the very last person, he said, "Now I'll show you where the water is."

The water is in the fridge. This is clearly just under knowing who you work with on the Work Priorities Scale. 

Then he turned to the mostly-empty box of Publix donuts and near-demolished box of cinnamon rolls(Publix... I shall miss you dreadfully when I move to the Northern of the Carolinas!) and said "Vic brings in lunch every day, so you can always have lunch here" and just moved on like that was that and we all eat donuts for lunch everyday. (Really, Bubba, we all know its breakfast)

Now, to clarify the donuts thing... We do have bakery goods rather frequently. For the first month I worked here, we literally had a baked good almost every day.  (Have I mentioned this is a horrible place to work and we're all health food nuts?) Lately, though, its tapered off to once or twice a week. It just so happened that today was a donut day for Girl Intern. 

It was really all I could do to not laugh out loud when he kept on with his little tour and she was left perplexed about the lunch habits of her coworkers.

It's the little things, really, that make this job so great.


Not to mention I get complimented ALL THE TIME on my speedy phone answering skills. Mostly by the people calling in. It's hilarious every time.

Ode to a Chai Tea Friend

Today, while the internet was down at work for literally the entire morning, I was pondering these Chai cookies I'd recently shown to my dear friend Elizabeth (they sound super delicious, okay?) and I decided that if our friendship were a cookie, we would be an Iced Chai Tea Cookie. (I renamed it from “frosted chai tea cookie”) – As if any real persuasion is necessary, here is why:

1)      Iced chai tea is the most wonderful drink known to man. Hot chai is equally as wonderful.  We are the most wonderful girls and friends known to man.

2)      It is a cross between a cupcake and a cookie. Which to me says fluffy, warm, inviting, delicious, and soft.  We are warm, inviting, and fluffy/soft in that we are approachable and loving.

3)      It has icing. Chai Icing is sure to be the bomb. Clothes are like icing and we are stylish in our own ways and thus, the bomb(s).

4)      This cookie is almost certainly sweet and cinnamon-ny and nutmeg-y and delicious. Chai Tea is one of the sweetest ties that bind us! (From our Joffrey's days, where I introduced her to the, now, infamous drink)

5)      Like Iced Chai Tea Cookies, our friendship has depth. At first you taste the sweetness, but then you notice the many different delicious savory notes that give it it’s unique flavor.

6)      Chai Tea is a gift from God. Our friendship is a gift from God!

7)   Cookies are delicious. We both like cookies. This one seems pretty self-explanatory.

8)   I can never have Chai without thinking of Elizabeth, and now I will never be able to see/eat these cookies without thinking of Elizabeth.

Elizabeth and I really met when we became twins of our big, Ashley, in Sigma Phi Lambda, but I think the place where our friendship was really tested and grew was at sweet Joffrey's.  I made her her very first Iced Chai Tea and started her training and she became PRO and now has coffee making skillz running through her veins.  Now we're graduated and off in different states doing non-coffee jobs and the friendship forged in mid-morning rushes, and late night zyrtec filled Bible studies, and patience-teaching Senior Tuesdays, and yoga classes, and sweet retreats, and Gainesville trips, and parking garage heart-to-hearts, and Chai Tea dates is still ever so sweet. But with just enough deliciously subtle savory notes to give it depth and make it unique. ;)

Visions of PW Eggs Benedict danced in her head...

Do you ever go through phases where you see or partly experience something new and it becomes idyllic and wonderful in your mind and you want to do it SO DARN BAD? And then later you come to your senses and realize just how awful that thing would be if you lived it every day?

I like to call that The Illusion/Disillusionment Cycle, my friend.

I liken it to a child who, for example, wants to be a teacher when she grows up but when she gets older she realizes that she wants nothing more than to NOT be responsible for a group of 20-30 snotty kids who all would much rather be anywhere in the world but in her classroom. It's suitable for others, but definitely not for her.

For grown-ups though (and I use the term loosely) (the word loosely looks so strange regardless of how its spelled. Loosely, loosley, loosly.) I imagine the process to be much quicker. The disillusionment comes in a matter of hours or days. 

I bring all this up and discuss my theory because I have recently gone through the Illusion/Disillusionment cycle myself.  And it's all The Pioneer Woman's fault. 

Now, before you lambast me for blaming my problems on the Pioneer Woman, let me first explain that I love her blog and, since discovering it not really that long ago, I read it all the time. Seriously, if you haven't read her blog before, go read it now. She has a multi-faceted blog about various aspects of her life on a cattle ranch, and my favorite sections are Confessions and PW Cooks.  She is absolutely hilarious and everything she cooks makes me want to immediately reach into my screen and eat whatever horrible-for-you-but-oh-so-deliciously-good-looking thing she created. Sometimes she even makes me want to try things I don't like, and I know I don't like - like mushrooms. (blech! ick! ptooey!) Thus is the power of the Pioneer Woman.

Now back to the blaming.

It all began when I started reading her blog and saw her cute photography from the ranch and could catch a glimpse into the life of living in the sticks and doing the cattle thing.  Horses and gardens and a pond to fish in and fish kitchen utensils out of (read her blog) and autumn and lots of land and a pretty ranch house all trapped me in Illusionment.  I began daydreaming of how much fun it would be to live on a ranch and raise a family on a ranch and sit on my porch in the fall with a cup of hot chocolate, looking out at my ranch.  It sounds so peaceful, idyllic, lovely.

And then I realized what a horrible horrible idea it would be for me to live on a ranch. Me - who hates camping and outdoors and outdoors coming indoors. Me, who would love a garden but doesn't want to tend to it becuase there are bugs in the dirt, you know.  Me, who can't keep house to save my life and certainly wouldn't be out tending to cattle or whatever was going on on my ranch.  Me, who can only imagine the wild buggy creatures who would sneak into my house in the middle of the night and terrorize me in my spice cabinet and bathroom and on the back of the couch, when I least expect it.  Not to mention the fact that I simply cannot be more than 5 minutes from some sort of civilization and grocery store. Mostly the store. Preferably a Walmart so I can get other stuff too.  Also, cell reception. I'm just assuming cell reception on a ranch isn't the most ideal. Not to mention, waking up early in the morning to tend to whatever is on my ranch. That sounds horrid.

Thus, Disillusionment.

So thank you, Pioneer Woman, for reminding me that, while ranch life can be awesome for the right people, I am not the right people.  Now, console me and my lost dream with your tasty looking food. Amen.

My Facebook Has an Imp

This morning an imp invaded my facebook.

Imps are common problems in technology, in case you didn't know. They are always hopping in things, messing them up, and leaving just as suddenly as they came.

Every inexplicable technological problem you have that mysteriously resolves itself after torturing you with varying levels of mischief was caused by such an imp. Also, the kind that don't mysteriously resolve themselves. Imps there too.

Today, there is an imp in my facebook. Not the kind that really makes a mess of things and shuts down computers or convinces cell phones to leap out of the safety of an owner's pocket into the watery depths of the nearest toilet or washing machine, but the kind that just makes enough trouble to be aggrivating. 

My facebook imp makes my FB newsfeed continually jump right back to the top, no matter where I am in the page. I could have scrolled down to Timbuktu and have been reading about something that happened last week, when all of a sudden, with no warning or cause - JUMP! - suddenly I am staring at that blasted first post on my newsfeed again. No worries, though, I'll just scroll back down, I think. Right? Obnoxious, but easily resolved.

*scroll scroll* goes my mouse.

JUMP! goes the imp. Right. Back. To. The. Top.

Well now that's just insulting. I try to see if I can outsmart this FB imp. I let my mouse wander around the screen as if I am perusing my options to play Gardens of Time, and then ah HA! I scroll so fast I must be halfway through yesterday!

Jump! goes the imp. Ever so nonchalantly. Like he was waiting for me.

Then in dire frustration I vow FB off completely (only for the next few minutes, of course, I am from this generation after all) and log off to blog about the imp and expose him to the world. Or at least the 3 people who read this blog. 

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

You're welcome, you three.

A Summer Celebration!

Two Mondays ago was Jason's final Final of the YEAR!! So to celebrate (because I love any excuse to celebrate) I planned out a WHOLE WEEK of fun activities! Originally, I was going to plan a weekend, but there was a dire need for garage sale-ing. (Mom, bet you never thought you'd hear me say that!).  So instead, I planned out a little thing for each day of the week after I got off work.

Monday we didn't do anything because he had his last final at 8:00 at night (yikes, UF!)

Tuesday, we had a veg out day to let his brain relax and to begin the summer in true L&J style. Because Jason already figured out what we were doing on Thursday, we decided to watch all of the movies leading up to the big night! The Avengers! So on Tuesday, we watched Iron Man and The Hulk. (HULK SMASH! - we had to watch that part a couple times)

Outside of the card

Inside the card! (That says Pizza, not Rizza.)

I have a good helper. He likes to be where I am.

Wednesday, we went to a nearby park for a picnic and to play frisbee! I learned how to properly catch and release a frisbee! Our frisbee adventure was cut short because I had choir rehearsal, but we resumed our celebration afterwards with $5 Bang Bang Shrimp at Bonefish. So flipping delicious. Also, the cheapest Bonefish date ever!

Outside

Inside

Thursday was originally supposed to be a surprise, we were going to the midnight premiere of the Avengers, but he figured it out and then I had some bank problems so he ended up buying the tickets for us. But it was SO AWESOME! Our theater was hilarious.  We were in a Regal and they always have a roller coaster when the previews are about to start so you know the movie is coming and to quiet down.  Its a first person perspective and you go up and down on a roller coaster through giant popcorn and sodas and other various concessions.  Jason and I usually pretend we are on the roller coaster but we are very subtle about it so that other movie goers aren't disturbed.... by us. Well, when the roller coaster started, over half of the theater throws their hands in the air and leans back and forth in all the turns and drops going "WOOOO!!!!!"

Then, after the movie was over, the credits began rolling and about 8 people got up to leave (noobs). The guy sitting directly in front of us shouts as loud as he can "SIT DOWN, YOU FOOLS! YOU CAN'T LEAVE YET!!" And everyone else burst out laughing.... because we're in the know. You ALWAYS stay for the sneak peek at the end. Those poor souls ignored his advice and left anyway.

It was the single greatest movie-going experience of our lives.

Envelope

Outside

Inside

 I had originally thought I would have Monday through Thursday for events, so I planned an extra one, but seeing as Jason's final was obnoxiously late, it got bumped to the next week.  I don't really have a good picture of the event itself, but I got 150 glow-in-the-dark stars and put them all over my ceiling. Jason and I love stargazing and we are always wanting to go, but don't because of light pollution, or bugs, or weather, or work in the morning, or whatever. So now we can stargaze whenever we want! Fun Fact: Jason had no idea how glow in the dark stars worked. He LOVED them!

"You are cordially invited...."

"I would be distinctly honored if you would join me for an evening under the stars.
Please RSVP with a kiss"

Each day, he got coupons with his activity! There were like, 2 or 3 per day. He's really excited about them, but will likely save them for so long he forgets he has them.

 

It was an AWESOME week full of fun Summer things and it rang in the summer excellently for the both of us!  And just because I know you want to see this:

Kitty in wrapping paper!!!!

The Auntie is a Dangerous Auntie

Well, Auntie Lauren has been replaced by Tragic Auntie.

Tragic, because Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very bad Auntie is much too wordy.

This weekend, while visiting my brother and his family, I took my 2 year old nephew for a walk around the block while his parentals prepared for a garage sale.  We had a lovely time jumping out of the way of cars, jumping on rocks in the parking lot, jumping out at lizards to scare them witless. Essentially lots of jumping. Also running and squealing and generally being a rambunctious 2-year-old boy.

We took the Go-Go and he decided to run up a driveway (scaring lizards) and he realized "That would be an awesome hill to ride my Go-Go down". So he hopped on his Go-Go and before I could react, flew down the driveway, hitting the lip where the driveway meets the road, flipped straight over the front and smacked his face on the road. I could see it coming. It happened so quick. It was like it was in slow motion as he rode down the hill with such glee on his face and I ran towards him yelling in a deep slow-motion voice "Nooooooo! Yooouuuu'rree gggooonnnnnaaa ccrraaasssshhh!!!"

And sure enough, he did.

His poor forehead broke his fall.  He immediately started crying (I don't blame him! I almost did too!) and so Tragic Auntie picked him and the Go-Go up and walked them both back around the circle to the house. (Tragic Auntie later learned she could have cut straight across. Sigh.) Daddy came and rescued him and the poor baby was distraught for the rest of the day.





It's okay - chicks dig scars.
PS - Aren't his eyes just gorgeous?

 
The next day he was just fine. Unless of course, you tried to wipe his nose. Then he became a Tasmanian Devil. But what kid doesn't become a Tasmanian Devil when there is nose-wiping to be done?

And that is the story of how Auntie Lauren became Tragic Auntie.