"What are you going to do with your life?"

It is a very odd thing, to be in one's 20s. 

I fall succinctly into the category of "twentysomethings" and it seems to come with an ever changing topography, thus far.  So far, in my 20s, I have graduated from college, changed jobs 5 times, moved three times, thought I was going to get married, traversed the heartbreaking terrain of break-up after a long relationship, had 3 nephews born (not at the same time), and moved back into my childhood bedroom.  Oh, and this happened:

The first three years of my 20s have been an emotional rollercoaster, put thousands of miles on my car, and have been both miserable and wonderful.  But one question has remained both prevalent and prevailing throughout - "What are you going to do with your life?"

In some variation at least. "What's next?" "What are you planning?" "What are you going to do now?" have all been thrown around, too.  And the answer is always some fumbling and nervous laughter and looking at my shoes because, quite honestly, I just don't know.  And you know how Satan uses horrible things to constantly remind us we're failing?  This happens to me all the time.  The sister of a person I once dated (oh, how uselessly vague am I?) once wrote a letter to him, but also sent it to me. It was very pointed. In it, she listed the attributes of the person she wished for him to be with and marry.  One of the attributes was that she would "have a purpose for herself in society." Of all of the things listed in that message, telling me to my face what she thought I wasn't, this is the one that stays in my head. The quiet message the devil uses to make me feel insignificant.  I don't have it figured out.  I don't have a purpose for myself in society.  And to make her words true of me hurts me deeply every day.

I've done a lot in my 20s.  I've been here and there and worked and paid my bills on time.  But I don't have it figured out.  And for some reason I seem to find myself isolated in my thoughts, that I'm the only person at this stage in my life who doesn't really know what the heck is going on.  And, dutifully, God puts people into (or back into) my path who remind me it's okay. They don't have it all together either.  I'm not alone. I don't have to be well on my way to a fulfilling career. I'm blessed by these people. I'm relaxed by them and encouraged by them, in all of their varied current paths. 

I'm at a distinct crossroads in my life.  I'm out of college, I'm recently single so I have no obligations to another person, and I'm in the location of all of my belongings (this hasn't been the case for a long time). I think it's time for an adventure. 

I found a blog on Pinterest today (Avoiding Atrophy) and read for a bit before finding this post: How You Know It's Time to Start an Adventure.  I can't seem to shake the feeling that it's time for an adventure.  I don't know to where, I don't know when, I don't know for how long. I don't know if it will have anything to do with what I'll do for the rest of my life.  But I'm ready for an adventure - a come-into-my-house-and-eat-my-food-so-I-have-to-leave kind or a I'll-make-it-happen-because-I-want-it kind.  I can feel God doing things in my life.  He was present in my breakup, he was present in my move home, and he is working something out for me.  I'm excited to find out what it is. I'm terrified to find out what it is.  (Anybody relate there? Anybody?)

It's going to be an adventure.