An Expose on Gainesville

After living in Gainesville for just almost a year now, I have been able to observe the culture and the people from an outsider's point of view, giving what may be a much needed perspective to the oddities and eccentricities of the city.  So without further ado, and in no particular order, here are:

The Top Ten Things I Learned While Living in Gainesville:

1.  If you are an FSU fan, you take your life into your hands by making it known.
2.  The whole city pulses to the heartbeat of the University. Businesses close for UF's Homecoming game. (It happened at my job and we got a paid holiday for it!)
3.  It is an unwritten rule that everyone is expected to wear orange and blue the Friday before a game, regardless of student status.
4.  It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to wear an entire outfit composed of orange and blue, regardless of the presence of a university logo. Also, if you want to blend into the crowd and not stand out, just wear orange and blue. You'll look like everyone else.
5.  It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to paint your business orange and blue
6.  If you have to go anywhere on game day, just don't. You won't make it.
7.  The coolest and most worthwhile experiences in Gainesville are often free - The Free Friday music series in the summer, the various Farmer's Markets, The Natural History Museum, Gator Nights, etc.
8.  The best pizza ever is at Satchel's where you can sit in a VW bus and eat fantastic pizza - and everyone in Gainesville knows it.
9.  Everyone has a warped sense of time and distance if they have lived here over a year. Anything beyond a 5-10 minute drive from the house is "too far." 
10.  No one moves to Gainesville if they aren't somehow in some way affiliated with the University.  Gator born and bred, employed, student, dating a student, etc.  Gainesville has very little to offer those who care nothing about the University. 

Bonus: If you mention your complete apathy regarding the school or absolutely any of the sports it prides itself in, you will be considered a strange and dangerous person who should be regarded with extreme caution. You are obviously a spy sent to gather secrets.

Bonus 2: There are extremely subtle differences between UF's orange and blue and Auburn's orange and blue. Everyone will tell you they are completely different, but they aren't. They're pretty much the same. I just needed to speak the truth into your life. I may now be pummelled in the street after I post this, so pray for my safety.

Bonus 3: Gainesville is a literal swamp. Call it irony, call it poor city planning. Literal swamp, and it feels like it in the summer. You can swim to your destination.


In short, living in a college town both creeped me out and intrigued me. The pride runs so deep! The support is so strong! The expectations are so high! The orange and blue so abundant! (Also, no one ever EVER says blue and orange. No idea why. Always orange and blue, IN THAT ORDER) I liked it and I hated it. I'll be glad I'm gone and I'll miss it.  But I don't think I'll be settling down in a college town anytime soon. :)