My future grows dim as I have been poisoned tonight. It's happened once before but I pulled through. I'm not so sure I can this time...
Let me tell you my tale before I am no more and my story is lost forever.
It all began almost two years ago, in a sweet little apartment in Oviedo. My graduation day was here and everyone in the apartment was excitedly getting ready. Being a lovely and gracious host, I decided to make whole wheat apple streusel muffins for everyone. Opening the box, I thought they smelled a little weird. A strange mix of plastic and chemicals. I figured it was fine, and pressed on to mix up what was sure to be a delicious and filling graduation day breakfast. Into the oven the muffins were popped! As they cooked, they filled the apartment with the strange aroma I encountered when I first opened the box. I grew more wary of the supposedly delicious muffins... In no time, they were done and Sister and I anxiously took a bite... only to discover that the pervasive smell also tainted the flavor of the cupcakes and they were TERRIBLE!!!! Absolutely disgusting!!
From there the blame began to shift. Sister said "You gave me poison muffins!!! You're trying to kill me!!" I hurriedly replied "Mom gave me the box of poison muffins!!! She's out to get us!!" Poor mom wasn't even there to defend herself. (Sorry, Mom, for what I said when I was poisoned) Needless to say the whole batch went straight into the trash and we got ourselves McDonald's instead. It was not poison. I lived through my graduation, but just barely.
Fast Forward two years to tonight. As delicious baked spaghetti was baking in the oven, my stomach started trying to gnaw itself in hunger and I decided to have a small snack so as to save my digestive system from self-destruction. I perused the pantry and decided on a few saltine crackers to tide me over. When I opened the Tupperware, I was met with the faintly familiar smell of radioactive plastic. Not placing the smell to the memory, I tasted my first cracker. Stale. Also tasted really bad. Sister tasted one to confirm. Yup, gross and stale. We figured they smelled bad because they were stale and I went to open another pack.
Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. The same smell from the Poison Muffin incident!!! We were dealing with Poison Crackers!!!! The smell alone of another pack was warrant to throw it out. A third sleeve was opened and tasted and it was even worse than the first. Sister and I both ran to the trash can to spit it out and then to the sink to rinse out our mouths. All of the crackers were violently hurled into the trash! I ran to the fridge to grab the first thing I could find that would clean my mouth out the fastest - applesauce. It was delicious, but the aftertaste of poison is still lingering in my mouth.
Of all the things in the world, I never would have expected to be poisoned by radioactive plastic muffins and crackers. Let this be a warning to all of you - if you open a package of something that is neatly portioned in a plastic pouch, and said plastic pouch smells a little funny - like it might be radioactive - STOP what you are doing and immediately throw the whole container away and toss the trash bag outside where it can't hurt you anymore.
I think Snow White had the better deal.