Thursday, February 28, 2013

Baby Glossery

Hello, and welcome! Today we are going to be discussing some common terms that may not be very well known to those outside of the baby having/babysitting/nannying circle.

Do you have little opportunity to be around young children? Are you often confused by the things parents or caretakers of those children say?  Does it sometimes all seem like a foreign language? If so, this post is for you!!

Warning: this post is not for the weak.

  • Dead Cheerio (n.) - A Cheerio that has been half eaten or picked up with soggy little fingers and discarded, creating a mushy, sticky thing that sticks to a young child's clothes.  Also can be used by said child for retaliation by throwing a dead cheerio onto the floor to be stepped on by his caretaker.

    "Child! You have dead Cheerios all over your pants like polka dots!"

    "UGH! I stepped on a dead cheerio and it's stuck to my foot!"
  • Eeky Hair (n.) - Hair that has been freshly toweled off after a bath and is standing on end all crazy like.  Must be shown to every member of the house and each person must say "EEK!" appropriately and with enthusiasm. 

    "EEEEEK!!!! Look at that Eeky Hair!!"
  • Poop-aggedon (n.) - A poop of epic proportions that comes out of the diaper, onto the child and his clothing. More typically occurring in younger babies.  Frequently requires a bath as poop mysteriously always seems to get in the baby's hair.

    "Sister! Go start the bathtub! Poop-aggedon is upon us!!! How did it get in his hair???"


    Variations include: Poop-splosion, and Poop-opocolypse. 
    Synonym: Blowout

  • Soggy Baby (n.) - Contrary to popular belief, this term does not allude to a wet diaper.  Instead, it is when a baby relaxes completely and snuggles up against you.  Most frequently occurs after a long nap, when the baby has woken up but not entirely. 

    "Ohh, what a sweet, soggy baby laying on me so sweetly. I wish he'd never move."

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